My morning so far...

Step 1: wake up way later than I wanted...I guess I might need to start setting that alarm clock again.

Step 2: rush to shower while the baby is still sleeping. With this I had success.

Step 3: Put pajamas back on (they haven't been spit-up or pooped on yet, so I can't be frivilously changing clothes. I already have way too much laundry as it is).

Step 4: Hurry to make coffee. This is a long process lately since the house is on the market. We have our coffee maker put away, so I actually have to boil water and pour it through the little plastic coffee filter. I forgot what it's like to live without the automatic coffee maker. I don't like it.

Step 5: Retrieve baby. He woke up!

Step 6: Get baby ready for day...this involves details that I'm sure you'd rather not read....

Step 7: Get newspaper off porch, realize that there are two days worth of newspaper still on the coffee table. Venture outside with baby to put them in the recycle bin

Step 8: Get socks wet outside

Step 9: Realize the door is locked! STUPID HABIT!

Step 10: Realize all doors to house are locked.

Step 11: Begin to panic! I have no key to get in, and most importantly NO DIAPERS! No matter what I figure out to do, the baby cannot make it through a whole day without a fresh diaper. Even if I could get to the store, I can't go in wearing wet socks. Plus I have no phone. I could go to my neighbor's house, but even if I had a phone I couldn't call Troy to come since he's administering standardized tests at school. The baby is starting to get cold.

Step 12: Start checking windows in vain. I am a compulsive window locker. WAIT! Troy isn't a window locker. The two bathroom windows are unlocked!

Step 13: Try to figure out how to climb up on the stool outside and through one of two tiny windows with a baby, lower myself down onto the toilet (yes, it's under the window in both cases, and yes the lids are up on both), and not hurt/drop the baby. Meanwhile, the dogs escape out of the backyard and start to pee in the neighbor's yard.

Step 14: Put dogs back in yard, decide the window-with-baby maneuver is too risky.

Step 15: Look around to find somewhere to put the baby while I climb through the window. The car is out of the question...you guessed it: LOCKED! The grass won't work, it's cold and wet, the patio furniture is hard and the baby could roll off....but, Ah-HAH! The recycle bin (why this whole mess started) might be just the ticket!

Step 16: Re-arrange the newspapers in the bin, covering plastic juice bottles, glass root-beer bottles and milk cartons the best I can.
Try to line the side of the sticky recycle bin so the baby won't get any gunk on his face in the event that he tips.

Step 17: Prop baby up on garbage inside the recycle bin which I have lovingly placed on the porch so I can get him out as soon as possible.

Step 18: Run and wiggle myself up and over the window in a limbo-type move that I thought I couldn't perform anymore. Barely avoid sticking my muddy socks in the toilet bowl. Forget to shut window (which I discovered later).

Step 19: Retrieve baby, feeling like a terrible mother, from the recycle bin. He's a little cold, but otherwise seems happy.

Step 20: JOY OF JOYS! My coffee is still warm, so my water-boiling has not been in vain!